You can ask me ANYTHING!
You can ask me ANYTHING!
Do you have a question you want to ask me? Post your question in the comments section below and be sure to hit the subscribe to this post button. It can be ANYTHING! I promise I’ll answer it here. It can be about phone sex, ME, YOU, anything, seriously.
Humiliated Sissy
Janes Guide
Dear Goddess Josephine,
I was thinking about being submissive to a dominant female. I was wondering if there men who are really afraid to give up total control to a Dominant Mistress? I was just wondering as I am a sub who is afraid to give up total control.
YES. Of course you would should be apprehensive. a femdom relationship is like any other relationship. You need to get to know each other, build trust and make sure you are compatible.
Hi Goddess Josephine,
I have a couple of questions for you. Is there such a thing as going to far with verbal humiliation? I think humiliation is awesome. What size shoe do you wear?
Dear Goddess Josephine: I guess you are right it does not matter to label myself as gay or straight. And yes I am sure that if I was in your presence I would fall to your feet and open my mouth and do whatever you told me and I would also do that for a man.
I do like cock best of all but mostly love being a sub and fem for a man or woman. I think I struggle with accepting my gay desires because I have always been ashamed of that part of my self and in denial of what I want and what I am. It is almost as bad as being a cuckold sissy however that is more of the norm so to say because it is with a woman and most often behind closed doors.
I am a good cocksucker and getting better with practice, the better I get the more I enjoy my role and the more I give in to myself.
It is hard to be proud of that but I am trying. Thank you for taking time to talk about this stuff. You are very insightful and confident and sexy!
JonT
you’re welcome sweetie and feel free to ask me anything. I happen to adore dirty little whores.
Dear Goddess Josephine: If I could please ask your advice. I have always been excited by cuckolding and felt great relief and pleasure when a G.F would take another male lover to please her needs. I have always been nervous about straight sex because I feel I can’t please a woman like that and I am under 5″, well let’s say almost 5″. I have always considered my self bi and had a past G.F who liked to use a strap on on me so she had me as her girl and she had other men to please her. I loved this so much as I sometimes wished to be a girl since I was young. Recently I have been only sucking men on my own, I have no G.F. My urge for gay porn has increased and it seems to feel like the right place for me kneeling in front of a man. A week ago I had my first BBC and I can’t stop thinking about it and want a man to have full sex with me. Do you think I am gay or turning gay? Could my desires to see my past women all with other men really be my desires to be with a man? I am confused and could use your guidance.
Thank you for your time Goddess.
Jon
Ok, I’m going to take both of your comments and combine into one answer. I see this is weighing heavily on you because yesterday you seemed excited and today more concerned about your sexual identity.
I don’t understand why people use so many labels or frown upon sexual diversity. Who cares why something makes your dick hard? If it feels good do it. It is a known fact, one which many of you have learned first hand, that trying to deny yourself a sexual need/desire only makes it that much more stronger. Male ego, even if you’re a limp wrist small weenie sissy, has instinctual needs that drive them. You have no challenges in your life to stimulate you because of how our current society is structured. You’re entire universe is your dick which is exactly why I cut to the chase and want control over your orgasm. Don’t try and fight it. It just won’t do you any good. The best defense is to learn how to balance and live with it. If it means you turn into a cock sucking fag then be the best cock sucking fag you can be! Have fun with it all. Cum hard, cum long and by all means find a woman, like me, to bridle that cock and guide you. Have you noticed that none of it is the same unless you’re doing it for or with a woman? Wake up and smell the coffee darling. You have no control over your dick and libido but at the snap of a finger you’ll fall under the spell of the woman who knows what to do with it.
So relax Jon. You’ve got a little weenie that truly can’t please a woman. Accept your shortcomings and give yourself to a strong woman.
Dear Goddess Jospehine: I have always been attracted to being cuckolded and felt better in a relationship if the woman would wear the strap on and have Other men to please her and let me just be her man/woman.
I have always been bi and at times secretly wanted to be a woman. I used to wish I was born a girl when I was a boy.
It is hard finding a woman who would want such a man. I am kind of afraid of straight sex because I know I can’t please her and it will be discovered and I am less than 5′ hard and I have to think of her with other men to keep it going.
I have recently been only sucking other men and most of them large black men. It feels so good to be on my knees and sucking him. I feel like I am in the right place and I can please a man better than I can a woman. I feel so fem with him pushing into my mouth and now I think I want a man to have full sex with me, it is all I think about. Help me here if you can, do you think I am gay or turning gay or maybe have been gay and just coming to terms? I wonder if my need for a dom woman who will be with other men is really what I have wanted for myself? However I do love being sub to a woman and watching her be pleased and aroused by a real man.
Thanks for your guidance on this.
Jon
see above. I don’t mean to sound harsh. It’s just the way it really is. I’ve been planning on writing an article about this but have been very busy. If you’d like to arrange a call we can and maybe we’ll record it for everyone to hear. ooooooo thats sounds like fun!
Thank you so much for answering! I guess this feels stronger than just “in the mood for” or a “stress reliever.” It feels more like a need or even a compulsion. i was relieved to feel like i had sort of conquered it and now that it’s back (and so powerfully) i feel like i can’t control it at all and maybe i never will. I guess my question really is, how do i deal with that? Is this going to hang over me for my whole life?
warmly,
g
Maybe you need to just learn to channel it and find a way to work your sexual fantasies into your life without going over board. Will it be hanging over your head? lol- sorry but do you mean your cock? (cumming in your mouth) lol couldn’t resist!
Honestly I think the best way to handle sexual fantasies is to figure out how to integrate them without breaking the bank or effecting your already existing lifestyle. It’s like chocolate…. you can’t eat it all the time but when you do it sure is good! I wouldn’t feel guilty about being kinky. omg I would certainly be guilt ridden if that were the case. I think its best to try and understand it and decide when to allow it access. I wouldn’t sweat it. You’ve got my number and you may want to consider a custom audio ( http://www.eroticaudios.com ) to play when the urge strikes and funds are low for a live call or you can’t call. Masturbation is healthy and normal. You’re lucky that you have a twist to it!
Good morning Goddess! By way of re-introduction, i had a few (very powerful) sessions with you over the last month or so. I had called you to help me realize a desire that i wasn’t able to get rid of (to swallow my own come.) Each time i did it with you, it was wonderful and amazing and fulfilling. Having done it with you twice, I thought i was sort of over it, but now it’s come rushing back and i can’t stop thinking about it. Is that normal?
warmly,
g
Sexually fantasies change and evolve. You may have a few that are your favorites. It’s like anything- some days you’re in the mood for this and other days for that. When it comes to relinquishing control some people find it a great stress reliever. In which case they might need to explore an intense fantasy that will quickly move them into that space. Does that make sense? So the answer is YES its normal. Don’t freak out or think something is wrong. You just need to let go.
@gMan – I want to warn you about Josephine’s 7-day T&D program. You get all seven audios in one download. You may feel a driving temptation on day one to listen ahead to the next day. If you can resist doing that, each day will be like the first and multiplied. Don’t fast forward on this one. Savor it one bite at a time. Delicious.
I couldn’t agree more stubs. To paraphrase the movie Jerry McQuire, She had me at day 1
ok. the one i can never seem to get over is swallowing. or really, being made to swallow. i can’t seem to get away from it.
I assume you mean eating your own cum? You’re not a lone, many guys feel this way and let’s face it, it’s not tasty for everyone. BUT think of this… if you can just get beyond it you’ll use it in your fantasies over and over. This is the type of scene that is hotter later. It might not seem so during or directly after but it replays in your head over and over. Vanilla fucking and sucking can’t touch that! You also need to find a woman you want to do it for and prove your devotion. This might make it easier.
well now you can say you’ve done it and report to me how it makes you feel a few days from now. It was nice talking to you.
Good Morning Goddess Josephine! i’m struggling with exactly what to say. While it was happening i felt almost like i was swimming. like i was enveloped. When i woke up this morning, it was just like you said and i sort of craved that feeling of being awash in it. Exactly what the “it” is, i can’t really articulate. May i please think about it some more?
It’s ok. I don’t expect you to instantly find the words to describe it. Just don’t get overwhelmed. Keep it all in perspective. It’s a high and rush that can be great fun or it might scare you. Let me teach you how to enjoy it, take it to the next level and create explosive orgasms. Sit down, create a budget for this and plan. Let’s try some some tease and denial with this cum eating. I was right before and I’ll always be right because I’m an expert at this. You just have to learn to trust me. You can look at http://www.enchantrixaudios.com look for my audios and one called 7 day tease and denial – which is actually 7 audios, pics and assignment for follow-up email/reporting, bringing you to the edge over and over. At the end you must email me for the final audio and permission to cum. It’s a lot of teasing and the emails inbetween are teasing. It’s like giving me control for a whole week really. In the end I decide how and where you come.
Or simply wait until this weekend.
Ms. Josephine, thank you so much for taking the time to write back! sometimes i do feel guilty about them, but sometimes i feel like i just want to indulge in them; like doing so would be all the “integration” i need. Does that ring true to you?
You certainly are being vague- come on and spill the beans boy! what kind of fantasies are we talking about?
oops, i meant for that to be a reply : (
Hi Ms. Josehphine, thank you so much for providing this forum! I wanted to ask you…do you think that indulging in your kinks will start to make them feel sort of normal?
warmly,
g
I think that viewing them as abnormal will sabotage and good effort and leave you guilt ridden. You won;t fully be able to enjoy all those great kinky fantasies. I’ll be writing an article on this soon, about separating your sexual fantasies and defining the space they live in. After all these fantasies are part of you, however you should remember that fantasy and reality are two different things. Don’t allow your fantasy world to over shadow your reality & day to day. I’m happy to discuss this with you and help you integrate. hugz
Very true. No matter how strong my desire for release, my sense of commitment and adoration for my Mistress is far stronger. I would never dream of touching myself, much less coming without her permission. It is honestly not even a question I have to struggle with. The question I do have to struggle with is how to manage my desires so that I don’t drive myself crazy.
Goddess Josephine – Thank you for yesterday’s session. It has been a long time since I felt that way. What are you considering as the next step for me? /sj/
Sammyjo its a process and getting to know one another. You’re such a girlie-girl I think you may be better off with at http://www.humiliatedsissy.com/blog Take some of the sissy assignments and lets plan some events.
@slavemind – I can recommend the crying. It’s a very unique release – transformation of emotional energy. When did it become so stigmatized for a man to cry? Let it rip, it’s an orgasm of a different color. Cathartic? Goddess, do you think less of men who cry?
And, how do you control the compulsive power of the male orgasm?
I love to see a man cry. It’s very healing and releases emotion.
how do I control the compulsive power of the male orgasm? I get him to the point where he surrenders to me because he adores me really. Then he gives me the deepest and parts of him
Goddess,
Now for a more mundane question. What does your mom call you?
Also Do prefer younger men, older men, or men about your age? And in general do you see any differences in the way D/s dynamic is played out in the three groups in relationship to you?
she calls me daughter.
I don’t care too much about age really. Sometimes I really enjoy age play, an older man acting younger. I have younger lovers, older, doesn’t matter. I’m more interested in the dynamic.
If the connection is there it just is. I’ve seen it happen in all age groups.
Here are two questions I think about having to do with medium to long term chastity (say 1 month to 1 year):
First, do you agree that chastity (going w/o an orgasm) is much harder for a male than a female? It is my belief that it probably is much harder for a male. I find that a little curious since it seems that the physical sensation of an orgasm may actually be more intense for a female than a male, but the emotional need for an orgasm seems stronger for the male.
Second, how hard do you think chastity actually is for most men who attempt it? In my experience chastity occasionally becomes extremely difficult, even to the point that on two occasions I felt a desire to be able to cry to release the tension (although I didn’t cry, I wished I could have). I suspect few women would feel that much tension, but maybe some, or even many men would…
I think orgasm and sex is more important for men. It’s in their DNA, part of the desire to procreate. Some men enjoy riding that edge of desire and prolong release while others seem to be perfectly happy with a quick jerk off session. Some guys can’t handle it. It really all depends on the man.
I think it can be very hard for a man that is use to having an orgasm often. I personally don’t find extended denial all that constructive. I like shorter periods with lots of teasing, frustration, begging and groveling. That’s what makes it fun for me and in my world its ALL ABOUT ME! (wink)
How do You like to be addressed? Is it Goddess Josephine, Empress Josephine, Ms. Josephine, Goddess?
What is Your preference?
I feel like a Goddess, meant to be worshiped and adored. I love being called Goddess but always respond to a polite “Yes Ma’am”
So I’ve been asking the live help ladies which Mistress enjoys watching on cam the most when they get to provide their expert guidance.
Ms Josephine keeps coming up as an answer.
So have they got it right? Is watching one of your favorite things to do?
Bill that depends what I’m watching! Yes, love to watch naughtiness on cam. I’m not great with vanilla straight stuff, I admit but anything kinky is right up my ally. How can I help you?
“The silly rituals you think are stupid are actually intended to help you through symbolic gesture.
referring to yourself in lower case, cum eating, kneeling, protocols that keep you mindful and maintaining that space. It all finally comes together and makes sense “awwwwwww….holy hell!” But as long as you’re deciding how you’ll be dominated it won’t happen.
make sense?”
No…not yet. Ritual is symbolic, but helpful? Are you referring to ritual that is chosen by the dominant? I never did get the lower case thing, but I do present with various mindful protocols. These are ineffective because they are chosen by the me? Really want to understand your point here.
Liked the original discussion on desire and drive. Maybe the ratio of Mistress to slaves influences the passions.
The lower case thing really is to show that you recognize your place in her world, lower, smaller- but not in a bad way. For me the turn on is the whole femdom scene where you become MY property and full under my control. The rituals/protocols really are just expression of adoration, for me and defines the male as being in that sub space. I don’t enforce the lower case protocol because it kinda drives me crazy and I’m not sure why. I’d much rather see submissive actions such as kneeling, wearing a collar, etc.
I think there are more women into this then your realize. As any dominant woman would, want it their way. This truly seems to be a concept that escapes most males.
Gonzo you are the one being disrespectful.
Ladyspet… When u say to someone u dont know ( ur being disrespectful)
i think u should say a raison… Its not only about talking
Gonzo chill out sweetie I’m just playing with you. Lighten up.
If that is yr way in answering… I dont respect it, and sry for asking from the beginning
I meant fingering urself? Do u think its gay ??
Gay? No. Naughty? Oh yeah! You are a filthy naughty little fingering tramp! I should put bondage mittens on you so you can’t finger that nasty little whore hole! lol
Do you require your slaves to shave, wax or permanent removal?
I prefer a man’s cock and balls without hair. Waxing is best but shaving will do.
Is that just your slaves or also in your personal life as well?
I prefer them all hairless
hey mistress
i would like to know ( from u )what do u think about fingering..and tell me some steps or details
fingering what? I don’t stick my finger places unless I’m wearing a glove and all areas properly cleaned!
Do you require your slaves to shave, wax or permanent removal? Are you bald?
You certainly do have a way with words. lol I have a Brazilian wax.
Just reading that almost sent me over the edge. That is a fantasy of mine – a beautiful woman, such as yourself, allowing me to shave her on a routine basis. I don’t think I can look at your pics again without thinking of this.
Why do you enjoy making men eat their own cum? I know I want you to make me do it, but why is it fun for you?
I enjoy it because I can. lol I think it’s hilarious how they watch videos of girls getting facials, get a hard-on and love turning the tables. I also love that moment, that instant when the actual thrill of orgasm is over and he does it anyhow. It’s rush to have that kind of control.
Hello Ms Josephine,
It’s me again. So I’m reading your twitter box on the right hand side of this page and I’m seeing a provocative tweet about a “hot date” and a willingness to share details. Not to mix metaphors, but I just wanted you to know that a couple of my organs are “all ears”…
opps sorry I somehow missed this! Which date? I have lots. Some secrets are best whispered as sweet kinky nothings in your ear. Call me and I’ll confess!
Ladyspet you’re very lucky to have explored that and its probably the reason you’re drawn to it today. It won’t go way. Once you tap that feminine power you’re never the same.
Thanks for sharing with us.
ok after reading the comments in the poll about shyness. I will post here what i sent in email:
Your comments brought back memories of a relationship I once had almost 10 years ago . It was a long distance Mistress/slave relationship which lasted about 2 years. We were together in person maybe 6 times. There was a whole training regime she made me follow, including protocols for dress, emails, essays, etc. One I recall was that i was not to refer to myself with a personal pronoun.
I should share with my experiences in that relationship with You sometime.
After our phone call you may have thought I was a complete newbie. When the truth is how quickly we males forget our training.
When it comes to freezing a chastity device key, is it better to have the key in the bottom of the container or somewhere in the middle?
Sunny take dixie cup, stick and string. Tie the string to the chastity key and stick so it dangles in the center, Fill with water and freeze. Good luck!
Some very fun discussions. In regards to the D/s relationship being driven by the passion of the submissive…
What you say is important and true. The submissive should seduce the one he wishes to be his Mistress. He can use the power of his passion to submit and worship to spark her passion to care for him in a dominating way.
For me the desire to submit is directly related to my romantic nature. I never remember a time when I did not want to adore a special woman. What I’ve discovered is that the Mistress/slave relationship allows me to devote myself in a deeper way than I ever knew possible. Yes, submission is powerfully erotic, but for me it’s even more powerfully romantic – a road to establish a deep connection.
Within that context it seems natural to want to seduce my Mistress – to be a slave that gives her deep satisfaction based on who she is (even at a spiritual level). So my passion may spark her passion to care for me by dominating me, and the cycle may continue and build.
@ b4herctrl
oh no buddy I don’t want that poor dick! you abuse it getting it hard over and over with no release for 59 days??? poor pitiful stupid stick. hahahahaha
You control it so it is is your dick Goddess.
“To teach him to love our way. I’m not saying there is anything wrong with sex or orgasms, oh hell no! lol BUT there is a level of intimacy that is superior.”
Wonderful insight Goddess. And yes it does make sense. It is not a matter of submission but surrendering. Surrendering to you and letting You have it all. Relinquishing control. Being naked before you literally and figuratively so that you can shape me in a way that is pleasing to you. And me complying because i know it is pleasing to You.
The hardest part is letting go. The male ego is always there hovering in the background ready to take back control at a moments notice. Oh as you said when the need to get off happens, the dick takes over and the selfish brain takes over.
Ms Josephine,
What a line: “A man that bites the world in the ass but crawls to me.” You really have an amazing way with words. Also, RE: “I’m a bitch, lover, mother, goddess”—I kind of doubt Meredith Brooks was thinking of you when she wrote her song “Bitch” (after all, it’s a first person song), but I am perfectly fine w/ reappropriating it…
@Castaway – I knew you would come. (wink) I wonder if Meredith Brooks understood the real meaning of that song? The many faces of the Goddess in all her aspects. Wise men still Seek Her! lol Perhaps that is really why your here.
What is the first lesson I need to learn in order to seduce your dominance. Is it something that should come naturally from me (that is if I am truly submissive) or is it something that in fact can be taught?
This could be a very complicated answer because even the smallest circumstance changes everything. Honestly I’m not even sure I or anyone can adequately define submission. In fact I try to stay away from labels that can limit you. Having said that, and speaking only from my perspective, I enjoy a man that puts it ALL entirely in my hands- his orgasm, his free time and his devotion.
You know how you see all that crazy shit femdom porn always depicts? Some of those crazy scenes and most fetishes are actually rituals designed to mold and enhance the male nature. To teach him to love our way. I’m not saying there is anything wrong with sex or orgasms, oh hell no! lol BUT there is a level of intimacy that is superior. It’s a total- mind, body and spirit intoxication that is far beyond release. You hear about tantra and the like, philosophies that by-pass ego and take sexual energy to a new level BUT few really ever understand it.
The one thing that really attracts me to all of this is that foreplay can last for days, weeks and I’m stepping in and out of sexual realities. I can’t do this in my everyday life where I must make decisions, worry about money, think think, all my actions monitored. How nice it is to dive into hell and escape all the rules. I love that whole cat and mouse game. I love feeling like a Queen and knowing that at the snap of my finger I can move a man like a puppet. This high is no different then what you feel when you’ve completely let go, the welling in your throat and the serious sensation you feel throughout your whole body.
The silly rituals you think are stupid are actually intended to help you through symbolic gesture.
referring to yourself in lower case, cum eating, kneeling, protocols that keep you mindful and maintaining that space. It all finally comes together and makes sense “awwwwwww….holy hell!” But as long as you’re deciding how you’ll be dominated it won’t happen.
make sense?
Yes Goddess, truer words cannot be spoken. The male ego can be a terrible thing. It is most active when the dick is hard. Probably why it needs to be controlled.
Seducing your dominance…..mmmmmm… where do I sign up? smile
you don’t sign up you learn how. I tried to teach you but your dick took control and your brain became selfish.
whats up, whats do you look for in a man, or what turns you on the most
Hmmmm honestly I don’t think just one man could ever meet all my needs which is why I’m single. Monogamy would be impossible for me. I have so many facets to my nature and they can change with the wind….
however… I prefer an intelligent man that is strong enough to relinquish control to me. A man that bites the world in the ass but crawls to me. Not because he just wants to get off, although I know I’m irresistible (laughing) but he adores me and truly does worship the ground I walk on! He studies me carefully to learn what thrills me just like I study him. He then carefully performs adoring rituals to get and keep my attention. He is generous and creative. He make me feel like I’m the only woman on the planet.
Goddess Josephine what can really help you chisel away the facade and the fears?
@ b4herctrl – wow you guys really get down to the essence of things. I had no idea you boys were this deep! I love it!
someone needs to bring lobster today and champagne.
Ok desperate boy who hasn’t cum in 58 days because he gave control of his orgasm to me.
How did that just make you feel? A slight tinge of embarrassment combined with pride and pang in your dick? A month ago you might not have ever imagined the concept of erotic humiliation. But the interaction, the trust, the slow seduction draws you in like a moth to a flame. Perhaps this is why so many men fear women like me or letting go. This is why you should carefully consider who you give control to. This is why your dick often gets you in trouble, right?
Establishing a relationship of any kind takes time and consistency. It won’t happen overnight and not without some reasonable commitment. I evaluate what I have (who you are) and get a sense of how we might connect. At some point you just have to trust me and give me control IF you want to embark on a femdom journey. But until you can you take baby steps BUT you better find ways to keep me interested and intrigued while you do. I’m easy to talk to and part of what builds trust and a bond with me is our ability to speak open, honestly and candidly.
I am a bitch, lover, mother, goddess rolled all into one. If you play your cards right you’ll get to experience them all.
Have you ever used a Strapon on a guy and if so, do you find it sexy and why?
Answer Potato Sissy Lisa:
Do YOU think I’ve strapped one on and fuck a guy in the ass? I bet you and lots others can easily answer that. lol
The reasons I would fuck a guy in the ass if not because I have penis envy and wish I had a cock. OH NO! I mean that thing always gets you in trouble, right? You have NO control over it, however I can easily control it, right? So, no I don’t want one.
BUT for me strap-on and anal play serves a few constructive purposes.
1) It is the epitome of emasculation for some men. This turns me on watching him gear down and relinquish control. I am reversing the process of masculinity.
2) It’s ammunition for his addiction. If I am the woman that makes you cock the hardest, the one you think about every time your dick is hard, the one that gives you the most explosive orgasms, doesn’t that give me great power based on reason number one? lol- oh yeah it does. So if fucking him in the mangina or plugging the sissy love hole makes that stupid stick throb I’m signing up! Control is sexy for me.
You have more questions love muffins?
What is the best way to become more feminine and as beautiful as possible? (have clothes, makeup, wig)
Hello Sweetie I think this question will fit best at http://www,humiliatedsissy.com/blog under Ask Josephine. This way others can chime in.
ok Here goes. What brought you to this site and this “profession”? And does it ever get stale?
Is this your main source of income or do you have a “day” job?
Answer for LadysPet:
When I was in college I was open-minded and kinky. When a friend suggested doing some fetish modeling I jumped on it. The money was good and to be honest I really enjoyed it. Later I discovered phone sex and dabbled with it. I wasn’t really interested in typical straight phone sex which is what most phone sex companies offered. I researched, talked to friends and found LDW. March will be my second year! It’s perfect for me because it gives me a chance to fully express all the facets of my nature. I enjoy sharing, playing, teaching and learning new things. It never get stale because there are so many different components to sexual niches- unlike vanilla sex. I will confess that my job is much easier when I encounter a man that really knows how to seduce my dominance. The way he talks, his unselfish act of adoration and knowing that he is happiest serving my desires. I am lucky that I have a good handful of callers that give this to me making my job the BEST job EVER!
I have a degree in business and marketing. I’m not interested in working for anyone and certainly not a 9-5 gig. I do have investments- most real-estate and dabble in a few small businesses. This is why you see me on mornings early until about 2ish then I’m working on other projects- some profit and some non-profit.
What a wonderful invitation. Thank you.
Here is something that I’ve been wondering about for a long time, and I honestly don’t know the answer.
In your experience (personal and observations of others) is the Mistress/slave relationship driven more by the slave’s desire to submit than the domme’s need to own or dominate? Of course, one answer is that it’s both; that they play off each other, but is it both in roughly equal measure?
My theory, based on very limited experience, is that the slave’s desire to submit is usually the more intense desire, and that it is the slave who more often initiates the relationship and pursues it most passionately. Maybe it is just the nature of the submissive mind that they are more driven by their passions. Maybe the domme’s pleasure is more dispassionate. They enjoying guiding and developing their slave, care for their slave, but don’t feel it is as much an indispensable part of their life as the slave does. I suspect this is true, and the reason I’m still wondering about it is that I’m new to this style of relationship and still naive.
what a great question. I have a lot to say but will ponder this a reply over java in the morning when my mind is less cluttered. Thank you for posting it!
Answer for SlaveMind:
Be it dominance or submission the desire will always be stronger in the seeker. There could be more submissive men then women or at least erotically speaking due to the fact that men are more sexual then women. Women need the total package- emotional, spiritual, etc. Most men that I meet that are attracted to submission are because its a sexual fantasy. Few are truly submissive. The same is true for women. Women can be sexually dominant or project sexual aggression, however few are truly dominant IMO. I am a natural alpha woman and I know there are plenty of alpha women, however my sexual dominance must be seduced to interest me. Just like you, there are clearly things that perk my attention and consistent submission action keeps it. It’s a real turn off when a man is submissive only long as his dick is hard. If his desire to please me isn’t genuine then I’m not going to invest a lot of time and emotion into it. Does that make sense?
If a Mistress sees potential in a slave/submissive its because she feels that his core truly resonates with hers. She will begin to chisel away the facade and get to that core so they can enhance their dynamic. Too many men put the cart before the horse IMO and they spend years never really tapping into this great feminine mystery that applys with all women not just female supremacy…
Find a woman you truly do adore and respect. THEN become everything she has ever wanted. Put your own sexual needs aside, selfishness and machismo. Be her everything and she will bestow upon you passions beyond your wildest dreams. Its a fact!