After reading Ms Ally’s post “Female Superiority: Are Women “Better” than Men?” and viewing the comments on the subject of Female Supremacy I starting thinking about relationships in general. It wasn’t until the “second wave” of feminism (1960’s through the 90’s) that women also became head of household. It didn’t matter how much money they made or how much smarter they were, the men wore the pants and made the final decision for the relationship or family. Men were dominant and a good wife is submissive to her husband. The woman’s movement clearly heralds the idea that women should have the same rights and be equal to men.
But is gender equality really possible and is it the best solution?
Men have sexual fantasies of being controlled by a strong woman but it seems that it only last until he has an orgasm. The idea of her using him sexually seems more like HIS idea then hers. In my own world of being an independent and self sufficient woman I too can fantasize about “wearing the pants” but does the world really see me this way? And if they do is it accepted as a normal relationship or looked at as an oddity or modern novelty?
Let’s face it; someone is always going to be more dominant in any relationship.
It seems to me that any time there is an attempt at equality that it ultimately turns out to be confusion and someone feeling resentment for settling. Perhaps it’s possible but I have never seen two alpha personalities coexist without great challenge.
When I was in college I was often teased for my controlling nature. In fact many of the men I dated seemed threatened by it and often challenged me. I resented this constant test of wills. I felt very much like a fish out of water and often depressed wondering if maybe I was. It was ok for them in the bedroom but once our clothes went back on the male machismo swung into action. It wasn’t until I learned about BDSM and dominance and submission as a lifestyle that I began to feel like the woman I really was. It allowed me to focus my affection on men that appreciated me being a woman in control. But it still wasn’t a walk in the park. I had to fully accept this part of me, the dominant partner and learn how to nurture the submission I craved from others.
In life there is always a leader to set the agenda and pace of any dynamic.
Only then can there be true harmony without struggle. Otherwise you have too many chiefs and too many Indians wondering what to do. When roles are clearly defined there isn’t any confusion. The key is that both parties ENJOY the position they elect. This doesn’t mean that the submissive is less than the dominant but that someone needs to relinquish control. It’s not really about female supremacy, although in MY perfect world this would be ideal, but a relationship dynamic that follows a ying-yang concept to achieve balance.
I’d really like to know your thoughts on this subject and how you feel about gender equality. I’ve created a poll to get a general idea but would also appreciate your comments. Thanks!
Humiliated Sissy
Janes Guide
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Good question Ms Ally BUT if you think about it the man could very well be a secretary or butler type and still be submissive, right? The one in charge is the one that controls sex IMO MY REQUEST PLEASE BITING ME ON BALLS COCK ARMS HAND
I think it’s a balance of upper hands. There are things I’m not interested in that he controls and vise versa. Sexwise? There’s balance there, too. We don’t one up each other or demand control. But I agree many relationships don’t work if there’s not someone calling the shots.
helpless, in the real world i think women are the real hurdle. Goddess Josephine is the exception. Woman have just been taught and trained for generations not to respect a male on his knees and she shouldn’t have anything to do with such a man. It is an anomaly because the tough, macho army rangers, navy seals, business execs etc that the women drool over are trained to be 100% submissive and obedient and to know their place in the pecking order.
i agree with Ms Melanie that gender equality will never happen. That push and pull, that constant conflict between the sexes is the yin and yang that keeps the balance. While women don’t have the physical size and strength to dominate or control, they do have the power of the feminine beauty. However, historically women that have used it to gain power and control have been put down by other women. Labeled as sluts, whores, golddiggers etc. God gave men size and strength but evened the playing field by giving women their womenly parts and giving man a weakness for them.
slut tara
Property of Goddess Josephine
http://www.HumiliatedSissy.com
http://www.SensualRolePlay.com
You certainly touched off a lively discussion. In the sexual world I’ve found it to be true that both men and women want to be dominated more. Maybe it’s just my own experience. I would readly submit to a dominant, and do, without hesitation and love it. But when faced with a woman who would rather be dominated I get a thrill from the empowerment. I truely love switching sides when it’s sexual situation.
In non sexual life I think things run smoother when someone takes charge. In a relationship it could be different people in charge in different aspects of life, or one always taking charge. I can lead or follow as the situation dictates, but in some things I freely admit I don’t lead well. I certainly believe that the genders are equal in potential dominance, I think it comes down to the individual, the situation, and the others involved.
Thank you wellspanked for your input.
Great topic, Ms Josephine! I believe that yes, for some, equality in a relationship is the only way to go. I’m adore dominating submissive men, but have no desire to live with one on a day to day basis. As an alpha female, I desire an alpha male with whom I share equal footing. AND that’s exactly what I have. We’re partners, lovers and we don’t play games with each other. While there’s give and take in every relationship, we both fulfill our desire to dominate with other partners. My sex life with my guy is awesome, but we never take the d/s dynamic to the bedroom. He enjoys me being the strong, intelligent woman I am. I enjoy all his yummy muscles, drive and ambition. Our skills and personalities suit the other to a tee, ah, the vagaries of pair bonding, right? It doesn’t hurt that he’s super hot with the perfect tool to satisfy, either, lol.
Ok if this works for you but I still think that someone always has the upper hand.
Okay so how about this situation: The man pays all the bills, cooks, shops, tends to the household and makes household decisions. The woman works fulltime and doesn’t care much to participate in the financial or household decisions. So, basically, the man runs the house, and gets to make all the decisions. But the woman doesn’t want to run the house, or make decisions about what gets done. She just wants to work and have fun.
So who’s in charge of THAT house?
Good question Ms Ally BUT if you think about it the man could very well be a secretary or butler type and still be submissive, right? The one in charge is the one that controls sex IMO.
Exactly Helpless, its proven to be the best method for males.
of course a Mistress has an ability to affect a males confidence.. i like you military analogy.. bootcamp to tear down and rebuild
I love this post Josephine and I do agree with you completely. I’ve never been one to enjoy the male ego with its childish ticks that make some think they need to challenge any woman who is strong.
I had much the same experiences in High School and my first years of college that you described and now that I’ve completely embraced my true dominant nature, things move along so much more smoothly.
No place is there harmony without some kind of leadership. We just know we’re leaders.
I wonder if everyone’s definition of masculine is the same and maybe we need to expand the definition of what falls in that category.. a submissive male can be confident successful educated well rounded and still have desire to submit to woman.. to me that makes it more interesting.. i might never have this at this stage of my life but i love thinking that more women are open to this..question is how many men would take this beyond fantasy.. its very liberating to me to embrace the Goddess ideal..its more than an orgasm and back to my real life.. isn’t it really a variation of old fashioned placing woman on pedestal.. to me a true dominant submissive relationship requires work and commitment from both parties.. i love submission and women who will excercise control through regular discipline.. if i feel valed and respected for that there is little i would not do for a dominant partner
My initial reaction to the question of equality agrees with Melanie’s point that roles may reverse. Within ying is a dot of yang and within yang a dot of ying. Neither exists without the other and only when combined is there a complete whole.
This concept, or feeling, of ‘equitable’ is a subjective perception; as is fairness, justice, luck, power, etc. Any of these intangibles will fit the generalization. Unquestionably, there is inequality and unfairness in the outside world. We are competitive aggressive animals driven by gratification and self-preservation.
I too have had ideas and work summarily appropriated, been a pawn of power politics, and watched as less competent females were promoted for their ‘social skills’. This is what it is and maybe not as it ought to be. None of us chose to be born into this reality.
Fortunately, we are free to create an alternative and separate reality within which we have every choice. Here we can define and decide these questions among like-minded people. Our perception truly is our reality. We can choose our friends, but not our neighbors.
Love this thread Ms Josephine! I think gender equality never happens, there is always a push and pull. In a “vanilla” relationship those roles may vary, one may be dominant while the other is submissive, at certain times, and then reverse. But your (and my) ideal is definitely female superiority. We just know better how to lead *chuckle*
No question, Goddess Josephine, women are in a sexually superior position. My point is that most women don’t know how to turn that sexual power into a power advantage in everyday life or don’t even realize they can. i agree with You, Men realize it, that is why they have subjugated women all these centuries. The best defense is a good offense. If men had to earn their orgasms, if putting out wasn’t a wife’s duty then the true power dynamic would be realized. i’m serious when i say a some corner time for coming home late and missing dinner or a good spanking for blowing the paycheck at the local tavern, otherwise no bedroom action. It would do the family good.
slut tara
Property of Goddess Josephine
http://www.SensualRolePlay.com
http://www.HumiliatedSissy.com
OMG you are too funny you sissy faggot whore! But truly I get the feeling that many men/sissies especially, that would love it!
Dear Josephine,
I do think there is a long way to go, especially in the US for example, but also that ultimately your ideal world is perhaps too safe, and that you would eventually be bored and relish some challenge to your reign. As to women and their roles, even today, I throw out the idea that Andrea Dworkin had: why cant there be a country just for women? There are glimmers of an ancient past where women were more dominant, and I feel this, the Goddess, deep inside and it does resonate very strongly in my male psyche. There are men, myself included, who are not at all scared of feminine power, and long for its liberation, because it will ultimately liberate myself as well,
btw cool discussion!
Paul
Grow bored of peace and constant adoration????? Oh hell no! The only thing I need to challenge, which is what I already engage in with select pets, if the mind fuckery that makes me wet. Remember I have a collection on minions to help me with that.
Glimmers of an ancient past where women were more dominant? Yes, its called HERstory and the facts are there once you sift through the BS they tried to force down your throat. Right? I won’t dwell on the past but I’m damn lucky I have the ASSets I have and intellect to use them to get what I want. Pussy addiction, pussy power, women controlling men and sexual fantasies geared towards adoration.
Paul since you are so articulate why not tell me YOUR perfect world. If you could paint the perfect relationship what woukd it look like?
Others please reply the same. This is fun!
This speak to me, and even excites me, but also causes me psychological conflicts.
First, I trust the feminine more than the masculine, including in terms of world affairs (both local and global). I find aggression and macho aspects of the masculine deeply disturbing, while I’m drawn to the nurturing and empathetic aspects of the feminine.
I agree that the world would be better off if the masculine were in ascension. Of course, both the abstract masculine and feminine is potentially present in people of either physical gender. For example, I believe my personality has a stronger feminine aspect than male. I’m not talking about cross-dressing. Personally, I’ve never felt a desire for that. I’m talking about ways of behaving and relating to others and to the world.
The part that causes me psychological conflict are emasculation and extinguishing the male ego. Is that taking away from someone something that is a natural part of their nature, and if so is it unhealthy or even cruel? And isn’t there a role for the masculine? Else, why would it exist? Of course, I think you are only talking about doing this in a consensual environment, but even so, is it completely consensual since I imagine this can include some degree of psychological and sexual manipulation? On the other hand, I feel surprisingly dawn to what you are saying and the image you are projecting, thus the psychological conflict.
I also relate to what you are saying about the Goddess. I am an atheist, but feel drawn to the idea of the Goddess in the world, even if it is only an abstract representation of the feminine and creative. In fact, I desire to learn to worship her in her various forms, including that of a Mistress. Becoming aware of all this is a spiritual journey for me as well. Yes, though it seems counter-intuitive at first, atheists can have a strong spiritual side as well, and I do.
Dear Josephine,
I think the thinking is too limited here: only two roles, dom and sub, male and female. There was a time when women were more honoured and empowered than most are today, pre judeo- christian, more pagan times, and I too can tap into the Goddess etc, but the idea that replacing men with women as the dominant partner, and that this would be ‘better” is too simplistic. There are plenty of women who make me cringe intellectually (Think tea party in your country or an ex PM in mine)..I think things will only be better when people are not trapped in such limited gender roles, when we are free to find our own nirvana, and interact in ways that are honest to us, and this may mean saying goodbye to old sexual stereotypes. ” How many sexes?” asked Peter Sellers… “Two” came the reply, ” But that’s not enough I say!” was his reply, and I think he was right….
[...] Equality? By Josephine, on November 5th, 2010 This is an article I posted on my other blog Sensual Role Play. I wanted toe bring it here because if you read my comment below in COMMENTS I make reference [...]
Goddess Josephine You are dead on with the sexual dynamic, men will tend to let the woman be the dominant personality or leader probably because it is a turn on and it is private. When the pants go one, men have an image to maintain for friends and family. Tease and denial outside of the bedroom can cure a lot of that male machismo. In any dynamic there needs to be a leader and follower be it business, sports, household. Nothing would get accomplished otherwise. It is natural in many cultures and thus upbringing for the male to automatically have the role as leader. Often times strong femdom personality can change that natural course.
As for gender equality, i believe that it is happening in our culture. It takes time but in each new generation, i see more equality between the sexes and a distinct blurring of typical gender roles. If it is happening on a world wide scale, i can’t say, but i definitely see it happening in the US. i know females will disagree with me, because it is not happening fast enough.
i will say this, i think a relationship where the female
punishes the male, such as spanking or corner time is a lot more exciting than male led relationship.
slut tara
Property of Goddess Josephine
http://www.SensualRolePlay.com
http://www.HumiliatedSissy.com
Spanking and corner time???? oh yeah slut! I think its damn exciting and personally think its MY perfect world. But on a macroscopic level I agree with Paul. Still I can’t help but wonder what it would be like if women had been given the chance to learn and adapt to their true nature instead of being punished, herded and treated like filth. Honestly I think the feminine power of women scared the shit out men… it still does and the patriarch decided to do something about it. For the most part they were successful, right? This would clearly substantiate Paul’s reference to “some women” BUT look at porn and the sexual addictions men have? Women clearly dominant the sexual arena and even a man fucking a woman’s brains out is powerless over pussy.
Paul I think its idealistic to wait for sexual stereotypes to adapt. Although we have come a long long way we have produced a society of closet freaks all depressed over the fact that their dicks get hard when they wear panties. There is a double edge sword here- on one hand scary yet on the hand exciting. My naughty imagination conjures up fantasies of Kali biting off heads of men, spitting them out and taking them hostage! lol- OMG you’ve done it now!
Sexual equality IMO is an urban legend. It doesnt really exist. The only real advantage I have here is that I can create own reality, a complete Femdom world where I reign Queen, much like OWK but with a spiritual twist. I would be perfectly placed in this world and it truly would be a dream come true.
“Serf fetch me my coffee pronto!”
I agree with your words, but think the real key is to come to terms with your own nature (which you did). I’m in my mid 40′s and just now coming to realize my own sexually submissive nature. In the bedroom at least, I believe I would find more satisfaction if my partners needs were first, and mine were secondary, and I believe that might well carry over into the emotional relationship outside the bedroom to some extent.
But I also think there is more to it than sexual dominance. I suspect couples tend to have different areas where they are relatively more competent, more engaged, and more dominate, and the way all those areas fit together is different for every couple. I believe that in most relationships there is not one partner who sets the pace and dynamic in all domains.
I always say I want an “egalitarian” relationship/marriage, but that just means I prefer a relationship where the roles are determined by the nature of the individuals (vs. a “traditional” relationships where the roles tend to be more fixed based on gender). I don’t really believe things can, or should be equal.
excellent post! thank you so much for posting it. I’m going to come back in the morning and give more feed back.
There is a lot that can be said for this. In general I think this is great BUT I can’t help but wonder how different the world would be if societies tables were turned placing women as head of household. Perhaps its just a fantasy for me but I can’t help thinking how much better the world would be.
I also believe that female domination even with its sexual trappings is projection of Goddess, Her many faces, and that She is speaking to the male unconscious in a language he understands. When I refer to Goddess I am not saying God is a woman but that there is a distinct divine feminine energy. I have no facts to back up my feelings yet ever since I was a teenager I felt this way. I always taught my lovers how to treat me. I always projected my pleasure and guided people to please me. I have always felt there is an underlying thread in all things that is feminine and longing to manifest.
Perhaps this is why I am so drawn to emasculation and sissification. I see it more as a spiritual journey with the added sexual bonus. It’s as if somewhere in his unconscious he understands his purpose and needs to extinguish male ego and strive for balance. It’s his adoration and respect for all things feminine, even the way he humiliates himself in order to prove worthy of its divine feminine energy. Some people think I humiliate and emasculate men because I’m on some kind of power trip but its much deeper then that. I am aloof at first because I get drained by insincere males and to be honest I do become emotionally invested so when they flake out or step back it affects me. We take the journey together and slowly over time we build a bond, even cyber or phone, it’s OUR world, our escape. I can dial in and “feel” their needs even when it seems I am hurting them (humiliation, SM, BDSM) I am truly aiding their transformation and also feeding from their highs. It’s an amazing feeling when you really tap into it and mostly likely why males get depressed, purge and step back because its so intense. They give their power to me and trust me to guide them. BUT if they don’t cross the hurdle She, the divine feminine remains dormant as he stumbles around aimlessly to find “something”. He never escapes Her because She is part of him.
OMG I think I just channeled something! Did I get off topic?
My point is that although I respect all people and all things I feel that women, given they were taught to appreciate this, are more suited to be dominant and in control.
Please share your thoughts.
i really like this discussion, the future of womens rights in larger sense will i believe will come from women taking dominant role in relationships .. not in all but hopefully in majority.. to be crass pussy can be power.. even though i am successful on work level i have always wanted a dominant partner because that brings out the best in me as man.. this dynamic is necessary for women to step up in politics as they have now done so in several professions
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