You’ve harbored sexual submissive fantasies for years. You’ve spent countless hours hunting the internet for femdom porn and spent thousands on mistress phone sex. No matter what you do there remains a longing inside. There’s an itch that you just can’t scratch growing stronger and causing frustration, resentment and conflict in every area of your life. The obsession grows causing you to do things you normally would never do just to get that rush in hopes of finally obtaining the goal of fulfilling your sexual needs.
What if I promised you that you could fulfill all of your sexual fantasies in a way that would not only fulfills your sexual needs but enhance every single area of your life? Could you commit to that?
Ideally we all want the perfect relationship and to be in love, however it’s really near to impossible to get everything you need in one person. Sure you’d love to find a wife that is kinky and dominant but are you really going to want that to be part of your day to day reality? It’s pretty damn hard to balance a day to day partnership where someone must always be in control. After all isn’t this why you want to escape and lose some of that control? Even the most open-minded woman that agrees to marry you considering your fetishes and kinky sexual will grow tired of your sexual neediness and passive aggressive attempts. I know it doesn’t seem this way but in HER eyes this is exactly the impression she is getting.
At least 6 out of 10 of my callers confess that they have tried to get their wife interested. Not only did they fail but succeeded in completely turning her off to the idea entirely. She may have been somewhat receptive, after all she loves you and wants you to be happy, but once she sees what a selfish pervert you are she shut it down completely and forbids you to ever bring it up again. Sound familiar? I know you’re not trying to be selfish but you’re so needing to express yourself that it often comes across this way.
Or you have a sexually open-minded girlfriend who watches dirty movies with you, let’s you wear her panties and might in fuck you in the ass with a strap-on. Six months later she’s history because she realizes you’re just too much work or you decide that she’s just not the kind of girl you want to marry. If you are lucky enough to meet a mistress, a naturally dominant woman and her expectations are too high for you to reach. This is why she has many slaves and you just a speck of dust in her world. Rather than make an attempt to stand out, become useful and important to her, you make excuses and run away.
Seriously Evaluating Your Commitment to Sexual Submission
Face the facts and be honest with yourself. Do you find your sexual submission stronger during times of stress? Are you submissive after you have an orgasm? Do you find these feelings, sexual submission only happening a few times a month or a few times a year? If so, is it really fair to make a commitment to another person? If you find someone willing to engage in fantasy with you during the time that it’s “good” for you then are you really accomplishing what you’re ultimately looking for? How important is it to you? These are the things that you need to seriously sit down and evaluate before taking the journey.
The Duality of Desire
Some people refer to it as yin and yang. It’s a polarity of positive and negative energy. Not to say that negative is a bad thing but two opposite ends of the spectrum. Imagine dominance and submission being like that. Projective and receptive energies and the truth is we all move back and forth. If you spend too much time on one end of the spectrum then it only makes sense you would crave the other side/end. Frustrations build and you find yourself almost drowning in desire, addicted to release longing to escape only to find yourself empty and guilt ridden.
Balance is healthy but it takes works to achieve. The key to it all is to enjoy whichever end of the spectrum you visit. Ideally your day to day should be one where you are in control of your movement, decisions and life. This includes who you submit to and your boundaries. This is why “safe, sane and consensual” are essential terms used in alternative sex (BDSM, Fetish & Role-Play). Being responsible is the only way you will truly succeed on this journey. The moment your actions are not enhancing your well being is the moment you stop and reevaluate your intentions.
I find it easier to create personas. I’ll use myself as the example.
Josephine is an intelligent, sensitive and spiritual woman. Her day to day she is busy gardening, networking with people over various projects and charities. Although confident people would never suspect that there is a whole “other” side to her.
Goddess Josephine is all of the above AND a sexual woman that enjoys being in control and playing kinky games that stimulate the mind, body and spirit. She can be sensual and determined or strict and cruel. Her intention is to own you and make you property. To control every aspect of your life.
Hardcore Josephine is a bit bridled and only comes out one rare occasion when she fully engaged in a dynamic with someone who can appreciate a woman that is intense, thrives on humiliation, emasculation and total control.
So I have three much defined personas and although I can elaborate I think you get the idea, right? What I’ve learned over the years is that there is a time and place for everything even my kinky alters. If I feel my urges brewing and Goddess Josephine needs some special attention I’ll plan it and allow myself to fully engage and fulfill my desires. I give myself permission to be whoever I want to be but I also teach myself to do it constructively.
Who is Your Sexual Fantasy Alter?
Take a quiet moment and think about your personas. It might feel strange or funny at first but this really works. Here is a list of questions;
1) Using your BIGGEST GREATEST sexual fantasy what part do you play? Describe what you look like, what you are wearing, your favorite things to do and how you orgasm in your fantasy. Example: dildo in my ass being fucked by a sexy woman, sucking a man’s dick, etc.
2) Now close your eyes and imagine that person in your fantasy. Give that person a name. It’s ok if it sounds stupid. You can always change it later as you begin to discover your inner person.
3) Who is the person most people see? The dad, husband, business man, etc. Describe what he looks like, what people think of him and most importantly what you think of yourself.
4) Now using a percentage write down how much time you WISH you could spend being each persona. Example: Josephine 60%, Goddess Josephine 25%, Bitch Goddess 15%. Be realistic and honest. Don’t do it while your cock is hard. Next to the percentage try and explain why you assigned that percentage.
5) Now write down the challenges you’re faced with in expressing your other alternate personas. Is it time, money, fear or understanding? Really think about this and write it down.
Going back to number 2, let’s completely define your fantasy person making him (or her) a completely different person who does not have any of the responsibilities of your day to day person. Begin referring to them in the third person. I know it sounds silly but it’s a VERY effective tool, especially when trying to communicate with a Mistress. Your primary person, that’s your day to day, will be the spokesperson for all of your alternate personas. He decides the appropriate time to allow the “other” to have some fun. He feels the need welling inside and it’s up to him to create a safe place for his alter to express and enjoy.
Here’s an example of a chat between John and myself. John is a very successful lawyer who is a true alpha personality.
“Goddess Josephine, Johnny Boy wants to know if he can come out and play. I’m very busy but I told him I would give him a few hours window if it’s ok with you Goddess.”
Josephine: “Hmmmm well tell me what kind of mood Johnny Boy is in and maybe I’ll arrange something.”
“Goddess Josephine, Johnny Boy has been very naughty and keeps trying to come out without permission. He was watching porn last night and jerking off. I’m sorry Goddess I couldn’t control him.”
Josephine: “It sounds like Johnny Boy is very horny and needs have a little fun. Why don’t we plan something special for him? Of course first he must be punished.”
As you continue to work with your alter you’ll get better and better at communicating his/her (sissy) needs. Even though it feels silly and uncomfortable at first you’ll soon learn how to have fun and over time, with some training learn how to balance your fantasy alter with your everyday self. I am happy to work with you on this.
But I REALLY Want a Dominant Mistress to Control Me!
Then you find an intelligent, compassionate and strong woman, a Domina, which understands the emotional, spiritual and sexual nature of dominance and submission. If you’re not really submissive you’ll still need help and guidance in balancing your day to day with your sexual alters. Look at her as your teacher or trainer. She is someone you respect enough to help you make decisions and who sets the parameters of how you’ll safely express your sexual desires.
The woman you chose to relinquish control to will want some type of commitment. It just isn’t fair to expect her to give without offering “something” in exchange. Once again you evaluate your needs, intentions and how important this journey is to you. Outline your commitment to her and then negotiate the type of relationship you’ll have.
Dear Goddess Josephine,
You are the woman of my dreams. I respect your intelligence and trust your intuition. I would be honored if you would accept me as a student to help me discover and fulfill my emotional, spiritual and sexual fantasies. I realize that I need your guidance in balancing all of this so that I can be the best that I can be so that I can also be that for you. As part of my commitment I offer you;
1) Total obedience and submission. I will not orgasm without your permission.
2) I can afford to call you three times a month for 30 minutes each call.
3) I promise to report to you via email, as required in your training program at least 3 times per week.
4) I will comply with every order and if for some reason I cannot comply I will beg to be punished.
5) To show my appreciation I will also include tributes and gifts monthly as part of my budget.
Please accept this mission of submission. I do have a few limits:
1) No marking on my body. I am married.
2) No bi activities
3) No public acts of submission or humiliation
Thank you Goddess Josephine.
John Wants to Be Your Slave
The above can apply to any scenario. Maybe your sexual alter is only intoor crossdressing, help with realizing his inner girl, without all the dominance and submission. This is fine but remember you still need to relinquish *some* control to the one who guides you. It’s up to you to communicate what these needs are and what you offer her in exchange for her help.
All of this could easily apply to a girlfriend of wife that is receptive to alternative sexual fantasies. You simply define your sexual alter, give him a name and animate his persona a bit (make it more fun for her) and whenever your sexual alter needs to express themselves you submit a request to your partner/lover clearly defining what you need and what you offer in exchange. It’s essential that you select a beginning and an end. Remember that you are not the only one that has limits. Be sure to ask her what hers are.
Dear Beloved Wife,
I am requesting time for Johnny Boy to come out and play. I have arranged the time Saturday night at 6PM until Sunday 12:00PM. To show his appreciation Johnny Boy would like to prepare a wonderful meal for you and serve you as the Queen you are. In addition Johnny Boy promises to clean the bathroom and bedroom spotless so that you can relax and completely focus on your pleasure. He has purchased some special massage oil, scented candles and a new vibrator to provide you with pleasure.
Johnny Boy REALLY needs a spanking and to be fucked in the ass with a strap-on dildo. He has been obsessed with this for days and it’s making it difficult for me to concentrate at work. I beg you to please consider this request.
The two of you can set any parameters you want. Although verbal communication is important, sometimes it’s best to write down the details and plan it on paper.
Fulfilling Sexual Fantasies
If you’ve struggled with guilt or confusion over your sexual fantasies you’re not alone. I’m not suggesting that you expose yourself or come out of any closet. I do believe that many of you fear liking your fantasies so much that it will spill over into other areas of your life and ruin you. This doesn’t have to be the case IF you approach this intelligently and solicit some help and support. After all it’s really not going to go away. Somehow or another it will reappear in your life. Perhaps it is time to find balance and in doing so it will enhance every area of your life because you will be a happy fulfilled person.
If a professional phone mistress is the road you take then you should complete all of the list and evaluations above. Sit down and realistically work out a budget. The more of commitment you can make the larger the results. If it means you must sacrifice certain things to afford her training then you do. Only you can decide how important it really is. It won’t happen overnight. Not only do you figure out a monetary budget but how much time you can afford to this journey with her. You should clearly articulate this to her along with your level of commitment and what you expect in return.
I am available to accept new students; however my requirement is that you prearrange and prepaid at least a 45 min consultation to discuss your options and begin your program. I will set aside that time for you so it’s important that you’re on time. If you do not show up for our appointment I’m afraid you forfeit your prepayment. If you reschedule do so at least 24 hours in advance. I do this to make sure you’re commitment to the journey. You are not required to call 45 min each time there after but the first conversation is very important to work out and discuss your sexual alters. You will also submit a letter of commitment and a tribute would also be nice to show sincerity.
If you absolutely can not talk on the phone you can arrange a text session www.sexytexting.com or order a custom audio www.eroticaudios.com at least a 20 min audio. This will be delivered to you to outline the rules after you send me your mission letter.
Just be open and honest with me. You’ll find me easy to talk to and quite playful. Even though it’s over the phone and email we can still share a wonderful and fulfilling dynamic.
As always I love hearing your feedback, ideas and will answer all questions in the comments section below. Be sure to check subscribe to this topic so you’ll be notified by email on all replies.